Life ?????

Today was an very weird . I did know excalt what was going to happen . But everything turn out all right i guess it depends on what you think is alright. But to my understanding it could have gotten all worst. So i'm happy it didn't . And i hope that i won't be trady this week. So i have no clue in whats going to happen with school i might be graudating in 06 or 07 but i guess the impotant thing is i graudate . Anyway i'm one out of a few that do . So i guess i have to take what i get. And you know what it isn't very that important . It's just a year, a year that no one remembers . So i guess it really doesn't matter . But on my way home i was thinking of a story a story of course i was making up while i was walking home. And i though it was a very good story.

So here it goes ;

I don't recall the day that i was born .But i know from what my mama say "I wasn't born either night nor day i was born in between". I never understood what she mean . But my mama always told good stories. And this is what she told me when i was born. She say i was born not day nor night but right in the middle of God's painting . Where the sun looked like in was laying on the water. And the clouds turn pink and gold and the far off your could see the dark grayish clouds floating . She said when i was being born that the lights when out for a couple mintues but those were the mintues that meant the most. And the doctors told her that i would never be able to do anything that i was braindead. That i would never do anything but lay there. They told her I was dead. But the told her that she could take me home. That day , the day after i was born. See but my mama never told my dad that i was braindead. She just came home and she told me dad that i was sleep and not to wake me up . But when my mama fell asleep but before she did she pray that God would give me a chance to live. And then my daddy came and pick me up and once he did that i screamed. Mama was so surpise that i was alive she told me that God was going to do something speacil. But i never knew what she mean i was to young thats what my papa said. But i was Nine when my mama pasted but my daddy told me that she never really left that she was with me. She was God eye's and she was watching me . Everywhere i when , it sceared me . But then i realize that my mama would follow me everywhere. Or at least that what i told myself when i was at a party.But soon i forgot about my mama's death i never though about her . But wasn't because i did love her i loved her with my whole heart. But i felt that she was alway with me that she wasn't really died so i guess i never thought about her because she was already in my heart. Andways i was so young. I forgot how she looked and smelled but i remember her spirit. Sweet , nice and careing . I always knew that i remind my daddy of her. Sometimes he would cry because he miss her. But one day daddy though it was to much and he to passed. But i knew my daddy wasn't watching me . Now i was 14 years old and i was throw out of very group home you would think . But i found this women her name was Katie Jones . She was young and also nice and sweet like mama. And her boyfriend was like my dad quiet . See me and my daddy never talk it was alway quiet . The halls to own house smelled like aclhol and buds. But one room i was never allowed to go in i guess it was my mamas room smell like rose .Pink roses, with vanille i guess. But i never knew because my daddy alway go mad when i stood to close to the door. I like the people i was with. But they go to chruch i told them that i never when but my mama believe i told them that my daddy didn't want her going but i heared that she was a godly women . I told kat thats what i called her that i wish she meet my mama. But kat always told me she did. In her dreams and that God told her to take good care of me . But soon Kat was getting sick i was starting to thinking that everywhere i when people were getting sick and would die. So i felted and i told kat i was sorry but i didn't want her to end up like my parent . But she let me go . When she drop me off at my new home. She told me that she didn't want to let go but she knew that it wasn't her choice i felt bad and i gave her a hug and i told her i would be back but no for long . But kat was gone when my foster parent trusted me. She didn't die but she moved alway she had a job somewhere. But they never told me where she alive or move to they were sceared that i would run alway to go and live with her. I when to school and i got ok grade but then i ..... Will sorry you guy but i'm tried

i wonder 5

Hey again will after i got off the computer i when to my room and when to sleep. And no i didn't have any dreams. I just slept . Which was cool because now i feel really good . I mean i'm relaxed finally i can't wait to got back to school and find out what grade i got. If their bad then next time i will work harder. But i know i tried my best . I hope everything turn out good for my friend i pray that my teacher would have a kind heart and let her pass the class. But hey i don't know how that would work. Will tomorrower is sunday. The day i go to chruch i don't know if i will be going this time. But i'm not sure . I though about what if i didn't go would anybody think anything about it. But anyways i'm so relaxed which is really weird because i never felt this relaxed in me life. I know i haven't experience life because i'm young but in my 14 years i never felt this peaceful. You know this write thing of mine has probadly help me some how. I wish i could give this to my friend so that she would pass but i don't have her password and it would be wrong. But if i could i would do it. Because i want her to graudate and i know that it would mean so much . But i know ... I wish i could do something for her. I wonder what happen on friday. I hope that everything turn out good but if it didn't i'm glad i stay home. Because i probadly do something that i would reget . Knowing me . But i wonder what happen . I wonder what my class were like because i had allot of stuff i need to do. O will i wonder what my teacher is thinking . Hehehe His probadly be like where is she. I was sleeping and i'm glad that i did . Because you know what i had the best sleep i've never had in a long time. It's best then puddling and i love puddling . But hey i made a choice and i stay home. And i think i made the right one. i wonder if you could type with your feet. i'm going to try ....hello my namme is Deanna . Wow i wrote that we my feet i type pretty slow and i got toe crapts . HAHA i 'm so bored. I'm really bored will i going to go and find something to do bye -Deanna

I wonder 4

You know what i wonder 1,2,3 out together is 3,735 words. And if i write three hundreds word it would be 4,000 thats allot of words. Wow i can't believe that i wrote that much that i can write a book . Hehehehe i wrote all that much in 3 years . So thousand every hours . That pretty go i think is it . And if i write another 300 it will be five thousand form yesterday work . And that has to be something thats half of 10,000 word wow. Hehehe i so happy i think i should keep writting get my handsready so when i have to write and essy for college i ca. And it won't take me an month it will take me Three hours and all i have to do is get some one to read it and correct it . Then jack pot . If everyone i could would be how much i make when i grow up that would be so cool . I remember my teacher telling Charles Dickens got payed for everyword. He got an Half a penny or something like that . I get a ten cent for everyword. That would be allot of money . No really reminder i had it but For a thousand words that would be ten dollars and so forth. So reminder . Wait for everyword . Thats allot. Thats allot as you can see i'm tried but math is going down the drain . But i don't think people would pay me that much . Because i suck at writing . But i write good poetry i think. I should go to... I don;t some person that would tell me the truth you know . I wonder what happen if i became an writer . Do you think people would buy my books . I wonder . Would be rich .... =) ... I hope so . Do you think i should stop writting . I think i've begin writting for three hours but it's abiut to me four. What else can i talk about my leg when numb . WHAT AM I GOING TOMORROWER .... I know nothing . So teacher are you still reading my work i hope so . Because that would be funny because all i'm doing is wasting your time . And my i hope you don't get mad . Because i'm doing this . And my reader i'm srry for boring you to but i'm bored so i guess we both are bored. Hi bored . My name is bored to . Hahah Will i guess it's time for me to go but i can't i want to write at least 10,000 word so i don't have to write never again hahaha. Not i bet my hand is going to be hurting so bad tomorrwer . Hahahah . I so bored i'm just writting now . Do you thinks this is 600 words yet . Because then i will stop because that will at least half of what i want to do . And it took me i don't know it took me some days not it took me some hours because i don't have an life which is sad . It's really sad. I'm listening to Kelly Clarkson . You know what i've realize the dumb caps button has to be hit twice . I promble wrote more if i didn't care if they were in caps or if i misspell a word. But I know there are probadly allot of word that i forgot to corrected . So i guess it's fair am i right. I better pass this class . I mean don't you think i waste timedoing this instead of going nothing . I would do that instead not. I don'r like not doing anyhing i find it annoying don't you . I wondre how many of you guy would read everthing i wrote i think by teacher wouldn't i wouldn't only if i was really bored. But even then i would space out . Be like ok whatever . This girl is weird she just writing for no reason . Wow i never though about that cool . You know what i realize when your really bored the crazyest things come to your mind. LIke something that happen to you when you were like i don't know . I remember this one time i was little and i fell in front of everybody ... It was so funny even i laugh. And i was called doral . WAIT no i was calle doral because i forget everything . My friend gave me that name he actually calls me that . But am not doral where my friend that help me remember. I like finding neo that movie was cute. AND THE SHARK TALES. I did it agian o will. I tried of correcting it . I hope i don't get point off . I don't think my teacher cares anymore. Or are you still reading Mr.Claffey . Are you with us . Wake up . I woke this and you say you read everything we write and i wrote this . It's almost 10 and i'm still writing . You can reallym tell that i'm bored . Will i'm going to go to sleep . Will at least do something else otjher then this. My foot hurt and my back hurts to . So bye

i wonder 3

yeah i find it annoying that the computer eats my work . So i don't write something . I mean i write but it's all in paper . I have so many short stories and poems . But it take so long to write them on the thing and then the computer eats it . I get mad because it's a waste of my time .This is why i hate computer their a annoying i so kick the person who made them . Where bill gates lol . But hey in also like them when they look eat my work so it uncondition love . LOL i love the computer. HEH but the computer doesn't even know what love is . Wow thats werid. What else can i talk about because i have nothing that i can do . You know o yeah here this will probadly keep me talk until midnight because thisguy is so annoying he play with my emotion but hey that life . But their this new guy i like him to but i know i can't date him because i like the other one and it would be fair to him if i dated him because i would want the other one. You know my love tanks is full . Lol thats what the other guy that i like told me. I have know him for 2 years his my ex and he was the first guy i never kissed. And said i love you to but i know i wasn't his . Maybe love but not kissed. But thats all we did. Just to let you all know i'm not that type of gurl . I am a good girl i haven't done that much. But hey i know some girl that have . Which is bad but i thankful that that i know them because i learned from their mistakes you know . I don't want to end up like they did. All heart broke and upset and stuff i just don't see it worth it you know. Love is something that it's true when it comes to humans. And people tell me watch when you fall in love you will see . But i have and i see how much pain it cause and yeah i still like that person but all that person does is cause me pain . I f that love i would be come a nun . Because i know god is the only one that can truly love me . Even those soemtimes i break his heart because i don't give him all the time i should. But love sucks and i know many people that agree with me. It's something we can control and you know what i don't want it becaise i would rared just be alone and foster . Because at least i'm helping . Will it's 9 clock and my hands are hurting but who would called me no one. That i can think of. They have my cell. And my brother has a cell. So anyways love sucks and that the end of that . What is there to talk about Music the music today i like . But hey i',m a teenger of course i would like it . I hope right now that one of my teacher is having an generous heart because i know idf he does one ofmy friends won't be happy and that not fair . And i know life isn't fair but comeon do you want to me the person that stop another from achieve there surpose .I'm checking me messages. But no one calls .So it's no point . I don't even know why i have an cell. But hey anyways i praying that he's feeling very kind. Because i know what she really going to need it. I mean we all mess up some times and come on... Life is to short to have regets. Don'ts you think i think so . But come on . Anyway i tried so .... Are you guy hoping that i would go to sleep .Will i'm so bored i don't think i will stop writting not i got to go because as you can see my hand should be hurting and it's it's hurting allot . I'm typing with one hand . You know what i've rrealize i can type preet fast with one hand . I know that life is hard but men my hand id killing me .But i don't want to stop i won't have anything to do . So what should i do keep writting or sit in my room listen to music. By the way i'm listening to music now . I think i should write but my hand hurts it hurt really bad but if i stop i won't get an good grade so i should write i should 10,000 words i don't think i can writ that much i wish i could my hand is already hurtand i probaldy ownly wrote 3,000 i don't even think that i think this is bearly 2,000 as you can see i'm getting tried i didn't even write it out ... I'm weird . You know i find Geometry very easy it's on e of my esay class. My hardest is English because he don't do work in the class we do it all out of it. Which is cool then not but i think thats all going to change and that going to suck. I wonder if i was to stay in the A.p English would i pass the test. I think i would . Most of the eassy that we read i understand i just can write it out. But i've gotten so much better at writing . I think you guy have to agree. I have better grammer. Hahha I said Grammer. That word is so werid i have it funny i have no clue why but i do . I find it really funny . Speacial when i use it . But anyways what else can i talk about you know what i think my hand are becoming numd . Will .... What should i do .... Keep writing . But i think i just wroten enough for two weeks for my class . But knowing me i will probadly think write for those blog you know the due date for are blog is sunday . Sunday is the holy day and my teacher works that day i refuse to work that day. That my day of rested . Teacher you should rake a day of rested . It would probadly help . I think . It help me i have losted it yet . Do you know a person has written more then a 10,000 word . I mean in three hours . That woud be in that werid book i forgot it name . But thar book with all the weird things people do . That that guy that is 7 feet tall. Or that men with the finger nail . Or that guy that can eat metal or at least hold it in his mouth . Touch that would hurt it really hot and he puts it in his mouth willing . Talk about carzy i would do that but he does. So i give him a thumd up. yOU KNOW WHAT MY SPANISH HAS GOTTEN BETTER. Hey i just wroten in caps. And i'm not going to change it i'm tried of changing it thats happen so many times. You have no clue . Guess what my hand don't hurt their numd and now it hard for me to write but o will . I bore d and my back cracked . That was cool . Ok i should really go. Bye - deanna

i wonder 2

.Hey sorry that i cut you off like that but i remeber the computer it will eat my work up if i write to much . Which i didn't up anyways the computer thinks so . Computer i hated them i mean their so involved with are world today. I mean people are dating and flirting through the cpmouter isn't that sad i think it is . I mean it is . I know in so places that all what they do . And it's sceared because computers have taking over T.V and music because it has both . Don't you think thats werid that kid would rared be on the computer talking to their friends then go out and play . I mean kid bearly run or play . I didn't play a enough when i was a younger. But yeah i know i got pretty ok grade. With everything i think their good but i should have tried hard. Men i hope that next time i do best. Test are coming up S.A.T and the other one . Which i won't be taking because my teacher is taking us out. But it's weird because i really want to be in the A.P but i know i didn't care about English class. So i really know what an good case . I really have an sorry one because i suck at spelling and regular english would be better for me. Anyways i compalin to much but even those i complain i still do the work it just that how i was raise we complain but we still get thing done. It releast stress . That how i see but i know people find it annoying but hey we all do thing that gets on others nerse Like i don't like it when pick take their angary out of other. Like some teacher and i hate the fact that people think just because your young you can't make it on your own. I know what i can but hey . I MIGHT COMPLAIN but i still get thing done. And i don't even people telling me that if i can take i shouldn't be in 11 because you know what i should because i work i work my ass out of it. I would write a thousand word essay tell the people why i want to graudate. Wait i already have. But no people still say that dumd verse "Ask her how old she is" . Who cares why does it matter we have surposely Genuis that are ten but you can't let me graudate a kid from the gettheo . I find that wrong. And i know i suck at spelling but you know what that's not one of my talents i really got at talking and allot of people telling that i'm a good business person. I know i can make it . I know college is going to be a pain but what isn't . Life is a pain . As my friend put it . Life sucks but you live and learn their nothing more i can do . People ask what driving e to graudate who pushing me . But really very one is telling me that it would be better if i grudate with the tenth grade . I'm the one pushing myself. I wrote a one in half paper to my old teacher asking her and telling her why i want to graudate i read it to my mentor and my mom and they almosted cry. But you know what i know what that essay won't touch allot of people's heart but i know what not going to stop me i have a plan and i hope that i can fill it . But i know their are going to be people that are going to tell me that my writting suck and i will agree them but you know what i'm not going to let that stop me . Because you know what if i let that stop me i would have make it at Gomper. Because so many people told me since i when to Moanrch that i wouldn't do good . But you know what yeah i complain and yeah i will a mit sometime i wish i stay at Monarch but you know what i've learn so much more and found better friends. So you know what this is another thing that i have to beat and i will because i make it through school . And i going to make it through college . And i know someday i'm going to wish that i stay in high school but you know what we all have douts becasue it are fear that makes us. Because if we weren't a sceared we would have douts because that was douts live off fear. So fear stops us from doing alot of stuff but you know what it's not going to stop me. I'm going to over come it and then i'm going to beat it. And when i'm 55 and it's time for me to die then i know that what i did. I lived myself for god and me . And no one else because you know what it's begin two hrs since i begin writting and i'm wonder how many have i've wroten i know in the last one i wrote a thousand and three hundred . Before i started this one i took a break to find so music. i can't stand to write without music . Wait i think i have begin writing for two hors because i woke up at six. Fo it's probadly an hour. Wow . Ok i can't find how much this is because my dumb computer won't let me it's probadly mad because i called it dumb. DUMB COMPUTER. lol. Will i thing that this about 2,000 word with the other one of course . Because this is to little to be an thousand but hey . I'm bored and i don't want to watch T.V you know what my favorite period is ... It's lunch i want to go to school just because of lunch but my back hurted and i wouldn't. So hey . That probadly why i felled a sleep the whole day it hurts alittle but not much. It's hurt more in the morning. But anyways i was read this thing and it say

A degree is a goal (true)
Promblem solving is a skill
Plan amd organze
Diversity os great
Opurtunity make your own (i am)
Attitude changes everything ( that's true)
FINISH WHAT YOU STARTED (ONLY IF THEY LET ME I WOULD BUT I'M GOING TO FINIAH IT ANYWAYS)
And their more but i don't want to write it . I like the last one . Finish what you started . I would finish what i started and graudate school 06 because that what i started school now i have to finish it. My hands are hurting but i want a good grade for English i'm wondering if i write enought would it up grade . I hope it does. So Mr. claffey do you think i i should get an A i hope he does because i think i wrote more then anyone it that class. I hope i have . I think i have . Have i . I think he got so bored in the begininng he gave up . Men i had allot of cool though at leat i do. But maybe to some one else their boring. I thin someone would have to be really bored to read everything i wroten. I'm i right. If you are reading this are you really bored. Because i'm .My brother is telling me mom how mauch he ate today. Talk about weirdness . But hey life goes on. My brother is graudating this year. I so proud of him. Could have graudate two years ago but he did want to . I don't know why . I'm the oppsite of my brother . Once i graudate i'm going to school and working on my degree but my brother isn't sure what he whats to do . See a was the one that always have a clue about thing my brother he did. But hey i guess everything cool . Because me and my brother are two different people and i think that cool . Right now i wish that i could do something but i can't. I wonder what did i get on my report . It was very imporatant to my grade. Not really will i don't know . I hope i pass that class i;'m nbot sure if the teacher likes me anymore i 'm a very diffcult kid as you can see. I keep bothering my old school to give me the credit i need. So hey they will hear me . I'm a person thats going to be very hard to get to go way. I'm going to take a break i will be back oK .Imean it just begin a couple of mins and i get in trouble. Will i wonder how my younders brother are going to turn out. I hope ok because that would be mess if they don't . One of my brother i would never see him . That sucks but i guess thats just a another part of life. His my half brother my mom and dad got a dirovce when i was little and the both got remarried. And now i have to younger one that lives with me and the other one that i will never know. Which sucks i feel sorry for him because my dad is much a loser he left him to . I mean if your not going to take care of your children then don't have them because... I don't know my dad is an idiot. I know that. But i can't blame him things happen to him to and that wrong of me to blame him . Even those he is a jerk . You know what i don't even remember my dad . I only took 5 years. Wow and more because he was never around . I mean i never saw me he was in the navy and i was a little kid and my memory sucks. Will not really i remember everything about school but if you ask me anything about me when i was little i have no clue it;s a blank sheet of paper wait to be fill with something. With what i don't know all i know is never since i was little i all tried to protect people thats what my mom told me. Even if their older then me i would try to . Will i will keep writing but i don't want the computer eat my work it's happen so many time . I sometimes get diecourage ...

i wonder ....

Today i was full of dreams i didn't wake until ten am this morning and i did someting . But then i want back to sleep from one clock to six clock pm . And i had so many dreams and their one that stuck out the most . I'm standing in some type of room but their no one around it's just me and i'm read i don't know what i'm reading . But i though that was strange because i don't like to read . I read because i have to . But anyway i get rerupped by sometime and i walk to it . And i'm in a different place i'm with my friends and i'm laughing . And i'm running and chasing them but then one by one my friends leave . And i'm there standing in the middle of the park wonder what happen but ... Then i'm in my room and my music is playing and i see myself sleep . And then i lay down but the thing is when i'm doing that i'm falliing and i could get up . I'm just laying there falling into god knows what . But then someone or something catch me but i'm so sceared i never is the persons or thing 's face. And then i'm at school and i see myself work .... I'm working so much that there work pile to the ceiling . And that was crazy but i'm there working .So that was what happen to me today. I dream all day and the i ponder on it . Because when you think about all of those thing would have happen to me if i when to school . Thats by usually day of life. But i don't know what the falling part mean . Maybe that it was to much but hey . It's life what can i do .I have to go to school . I'm glad that my mom let me stay home. And let me get some rest . Because i wasn't feeling good by back started to hurt again . I really have to get it check but i don't want to because i'm sceared that i have to wear those dumb looking back things. But i should really go . Because it's causing me prombles . I remember one time it was so bad that i wouldn't move for a whole two hours it hurt so bad i had to stay in bed . And i could move for jack... Because of it . Something i can get up but it's only for a couple of min. it's never that long . That day sceared me so bad because i though i really did it. Men i really should get a check up it's begina year i should go . But i'm not use to going to the doctor i think that their going to tell me that i have a really big promble that .... I don't know but i know i don't want to go . I would rared not go . And deal with the pain . My mom find that really dumb and it's but i don't like going to the doctor. Anyway what else did i dream about mmmm. I don't know i can't remember i mean i've them so tried latly that my memory and my eye view is going bad. It's probadly because of the stress . But who know . I mean i don't do much i go to go school 8 hrs and then i come home do the homework the i clean and then i take a shower because my the time i'm done with everything it's eight pm and then i talk to my family asking them what happen to them and is everything going will . Then i go to sleep. But before that i write a poem into my jounarl .And then i go to sleep . But sometime i wake up because of my cat . Because she hungary or my brother is sceared of something and he comes and sleep with me sometimes. Then if none of that happen i go to sleep with not peace because i know there was so many other thing i had to do . And i'm wondering if i had a good example of my friemds. Latly i haven't begin going that . I just pray every night and not even for that long . Which really sucks i'm losing my faith because latly i'm begin so buzy and i know that not good but i don't know what do to .I'm trying so hard to do everything right but i know i can't be everywhere i need to be and i can't help everybody which really sucks . Because i think that i would have done something but then in the end it wasn't my problem but i think it is. Allot of my friends think that i'm weird because i blame myself for what happen to them . And really i have no clue why i do because it really wasn;'t my false . And i know that but i still think that i would do something about it . I remeber before i want to Gomper i had wrote a poem which is now just memory because i ripped it . But it talk about me begin on the trolley looking out and see all the promble of the city and wish that one day all of that would change and now i took that pain and the sad of everyone i sould see and for some reason i blame myself because i know that i could have done something . And i can but i don't know it hard to explain . My mentor like it so did everyone else. But i ripped it but with many other because i knew i wasn't surpose to keep them . Which right now i wish i didn't but i did so o well. What can i do now . I had allot about my dad and my friend that choose my boyfriend over me and i wrote some about the city and about my life. It was crazy allot of it had allot about me . I mean i'm usually a person that keep something inside but when that i wrote so much about my feelings like everything that hurt me everything that i want to cry but couldn't i wrote in that book . And i guess that one of the reason why i ripped it up . Because i really don't like people knowing what happen to me . I mean a yeah it looks if you ask me i would tell you and i would but i won't tell you everything . And i've realize that actually i haven't i mentor has and my ex boyfriend . They ask me so much question hoping that i would tell them but . I don't like sticking aroung i think the longest friendship i never had was 3 years and thats it . I leave i never come back . But anyways report card are due this week so i wondering what i;m going to get probadly bad grade i mean not really . Spanish class i probadly will get an B. P.E i will an A , i hope. Honors Geometry i will get an A- . A.P-English i will get an B or an C ,i hope i get an B. Then computer i will probadly get an A or an C . And then Chemistry i will get an A or an B . And thats it. Those are all of my class. O jolly rancher have a new favor Raspberry - pineapple ,it's really good. I like in it has a tangy taste to it .

If ....

If i was to live life as it was my last day i wonder what would i do . would i say good bye to all my friends or would i sit alone and wish it never happen . I think about that almost everyday if today was my last day i would be happy with myself you know why because i had fun . I ahde allot of fun i realize i nedd my mom and you probabdly thinking ok why does need her mom . And here's why because without my mom i wold be born i wouldn't know the things i know (meaninf morals) and i won't be the person i'm today . So might say they wish i was never born other are happy that i was . but you know what today i was happy and then mad really mad but hey let forget the mad part about why my day sucked . Because today i was talk to a friend and sge told me how much her mom mean to her .And i though about it and i sasked why ?And she said because her mom has begin there for her . And that her mom was her best friend and i was like wow. I wais i had that relationship with my mom . I mean i do but then i 'm wondering why ?Why is it tobe good friend with your mom? I told her that and she was like because you see how your mom lives through her mistake and you won't be alone . And i was like o ok but i really didn't get it . Maybe it because i mad but i reallyget what she meant . And i wondering why is it good to be your mom's friend. I mean i would see hard and not fun and not great as she explain. But hey her moms is cool . But i could see the pain that she when and how her mom help her get over it and i though that was cool i really did and then i realize that why it's good to be your mom's friend. I remember when me and my mom really talk it's begin along time since we have but hey what can i said i've begin bvzy. And i';m not the only one i know she has to . But anyways i don't want to talk about it anymore i realize me being my mom's friend or her being mine is a good thing . Because i will learn from her . But let see what else can i talk about i know . School so far i'm going really good in my class and as you can i'm caughting up with my blogs because i haven;t writen a enough i don't know why i haven't i love to write it's one on my passion i don't write good but i love to write . But anyways if today was your last day what would you do ?Me personally i would go around and tell all the people that i like and don't like a piece of my mind . And maybe i would go and dicth school and have party and have allot of fun. But hey i'm not dieing just yet i'm proabaly going to live .... I don't even kno when i'm going to die . It's weird i know what i'm surpose to do but what happen if i died tomorrower would any body know . See my mom works and she wouldn't know if i died in my sleep . Not i playing my brother wakes me up every morning i know it's sad but hey hey he agree, No he didn't my mom asked him to wake me umen their boring . If i had a choice i wouldn't go but i don't so hey what can you do p . But i hope he doesn't mind much . I mean his my older brother , will i know what an sorry excues but that the only one i would come up with. Will i'm wondering how many is to much ?? I mean if you write 1,000 word would some one read it all would i read it all . I can tell you one thing i wouldn't . I mean it's not that much but it allot speaciall if it was boring . Like some of my class. O will bye -Deanna

today

Will hey again it's me will i guess all i want to say is hi and that my day isn't going will i just wrote 1,000 words in mr. Bates class the the computer ate it and now i'm not mad but O.p and i don't have alot of time but hey i hope that your guy day is going will But hey today was today .

I couldn't do anything about to day .
it happen without a warming
i didn't know what hit me until i though about
i though life was ok until i realize that is wasn't
I hope one day when i look back that life is life and
that one day i can rest and have some fun
Even if i don't get everything i want i still came out on top


Bye i hope the computer doesn't eat this .

hey

Life can be so mess up i though that my life sucked right now but no it doesn't it doesn't even compare to others . But life can get mess- up and i feel so bad for others . Men i hate feeling like i can't do anything . But i'm going to try like hell to because i don't want to see them get strew. SO i promise right to all of you guys that i'm going to help the best i know hoe i'm going to be there helping them so that won't happen to them because that would so f.ucked up and srry for me cusing but thats how i feel. So you know what i got to go and help me other .....

life is a pain

Hey again just to up date you my school has no ideal what their going to do with me .Test are coming up this year S.A.T and the high school exits exam and ect... But the thing about that is i took the tenth grade S.A.T and passed. I just didn't have a enough credit to go to the eleventh which now i do . So my school is wondering what are we going to do with me because i'm 14 in the tenth grade and if they let me be in the eleventh i will be 15 in August . So i understand why their taking along time to firgure things out but i probably know whats going to happen i'm going to stay in the tenth and wait until next year with the other 10 grades . So that was to update you ....if you care . Bye -Deannna

whats up

Today was an ok day . I saw some of my old friends , it was weird at first but then it was like i never left but i'm glad that i saw them . Allot of them brought of old stuff up but that dead off quickly .But i wonder why they always bring it up .I wonder if they want me to stay with my Ex's when never they see me they all ways bring it up .Say how cute we were together.But in the end i'm glady that we didn't stay together. I always tell them i've moved on but they don't believe me but it's true i don't care about him anymore . I found a new person and i like him allot his very nice and i hope one day he will ask me out but if he doesn't then i hope we are good friends. Will i got to go bye -DEANNA

hey

Hey again it's me .I'm just writing to let you know what finals are this week and teacher are giving us homework .Why?I have no clue so what they are thinking but i don't care anymore i just want to be done with school and get on to whats important .And that is HOmework and classwork and getting it done on time and correct. Today was funny only 19 people out of 28 kids turn in a exament that is worsth allot of point . The teacher was mad but tried to play it off which didn't work . Will hey i got to go Bye Deanna

hey

Will today was a weird i when home wondering if this guy was going to e-mail me back which he didn't . But i came to an understanding that we couldn't be able to date because we both come form diffrent schools. And you probadly think thats doesn't matter but it does. Because i don't know how he act with his friends and i don't know what he say is true. And anyways two school two different ideals . Am i right because the things he goes through i won't and the things i do and that matter to me he won't know . So in the end the relationship won't last long because we won't have alot in common but what tracked it in the begininng . will thats what i though about ....

hey

I've written more then 100 poems .I'm so happy because i finish my poetry book . Yea . Will i got to go i just want to share that with all of you...

hey

Hey waht's up here a letter i wrote to my counsler at my school asking him to check and go over my transcribes and to see if there anyway that i can graudate with my class. And to let you know this is my goal to graudate in 06 isn't much but i know i can do it if i try my hardest . so i'm and tell me if this was a good letter or no . Will byeDeanna It's 2 page

Hello Mr.Jacobson

Just to warn you this is a very long e-mail so i 'm hoping you read all of it ...

I know your problem getting annoyed by me coming and asking for my transcribes and i really thankful .I turn them into my counsel and she notice that i was missing my summer report . And it said that my leaving date was 8/11/04 and the last report was 8/13/04. So i need by last report card . And i know your thinking whats up with this girl why does she want to graduate so young . And i know it's crazy and i know the world isn't going to be happy if i do . But Mr.Jacobson the reason i want to graduate so Young is to prove to myself another that I'm more then a Mexican that's problem going to end up pregnant or dead. But i want to show my class mate and friends that even those the world is against they can still make it . I realize me being at Gompers has help allot students including myself I've learn from them and the same with them . But the one thing that i see at Gompers and not at Monarch is the most of the girl think that they're not worth anything. They think that their going to end as their parents and with that they do . And almost everyday another students dies and i never knew that was high school life but it's . And i want to show my friends and my family that they can make it they can beat the odds. And i know your problem thinking it isn't your work but Mr.Jacobson some one need to do it . Mr. Martin Luther King Jr. graduate at the age of 15 years old and he was born in the day of racism . And i was born in the days of a world where their telling the youth that they aren't going to make it. And Mr.Jacobson most of the kids at monarch face those probables everyday but they still go to school even those there later they go to school . Even those the world is telling them that their not worth anything . And trust me they do say that to do them . Who ever it's they hear and some believe and some don't but you know for those that do they drop out of high and thats it .That were their life ends because they couldn't be able to do anything else because they don't have a high school develop. So Mr.Jacobson this is why i want to graduate this is why I'm trying so hard is to prove to myself and others. That we can do it ,this is why I'm working so hard this is way to prove to others that we can do it . Because i can bet you anything when people look at me they judge me and they say that I'm just a another kid i never taste the bitter pain of what the world can bring .But you know the kids at Monarch have taste and more are family , friends and etc... But I've taste the everything everyday I'm glad that I'm not that kid that got shot on skyline . But every month a kid dies. And others just drop out I've seen good friends just not care because what people are telling them . And i want to show them that they can make it . And i know your thinking how will it help them if i graduate. And this is how it's show them that even those people are pushing them down that if they work and try that they can make it . And thats how . You see these famous people that say the came from the ghetto don't help instead they forgot where they came from or they just don't give back to the people that help them . And allot of kids think that is a once in a life time chance . And they think that's not going to be them because of B.E.T and M.T.V are telling the public that you want to make it in this world you got to be a P.I.M.P and they're telling the girl that all their worth is sex. And I've seen it that the guy at my school treat the girl like that . And the girl allow it they have such a low self of esteem that they don't even stand up for them self. So this is why i want to graduate to show my friends that they can do anything they want ;if they put their whole heart and I'm putting but whole heart in this . And they know they see me after school working hard and asking my teachers for help they see me working so hard .Looking for ways for me to graduate .And i don't want them to see that i don't graduate and see that i fail . That i gave them false hope and dream because i tell them if they try if they gave it their best then they could get what they were working so hard for. And it's true one person can make a differences and I'm making one. And i know I'm going to have allot of trial because I'm so young but my whole life since i can remember that my teachers told me that i wasn't going to make it .But the teachers at Monarch told me the opposite they told me that i could. Now i wish their were teacher like that every where but the truth is there isn't . And those are some of the reason why kids drop out because no one is telling them they can't make it . I''ve had a taste of that and it's not fun it hurts because you think that you can't handle it but they're not give you the chance . And i know me graduating and making it it's going to be hard the possibles are very low and i know but i know i can't do it . And i know kids like me can to they just need some one to show them the way . I'm not say that I'm going to be the way but i can try I'm hardest . The thing i learn at my school is that they don't care about my age and i know the world is going to use it against me but i know that everyday some one is this world boss or bosses are younger by ten to fifth teen years . So really people don't care about the age they care about can you handle it . And Mr.Jacobson I've handle death at a young age I've handle homeless and taking care of a child . That wasn't my own. Because my family wasn't rich enough to have a babysitter so i can make it . And there are many student are Monarch that are doing the same thing. And you know some of them . But we still do it everyday . I was eleven when i took care of my brother for 2 years i took care of him . When my mom when to school. I know what life is about and now I'm asking you if you know anyway of me graduate I'm asking can you do it . Because it's just not for me it's for the future of many . Thanks for reading my pros el -Deanna

hey

Today was a werid day everything got mixs up and i had no clue on whats going on . I found out that my tranfscribe got mess up in the process of me going to Gompers i'm already surpose to be in the 11grade and i just got that fix and i 'm hoping that is not more prombles so i can move on with my life ... I mean come on i work my whole life and people are pushing me down and i'm tried of people telling me i can't make it and you know what i'm going to prove them alll wrong will i got to go so bye Deanna

IT'S only begin a month and my family has gone to the E.R more then once...

It's crazy my family is becoming so sick that we had to go to the E.r almost every two weeks why i don't know . My mother and I are the only one that haven't gone . I mean me and my mother are the ones that have to deal with the most stress. But hey i'm glad it's not me . But i'm alittle up mess because i've begin getting colds like evry week i'm sick . And i'm tried all the time now and i still have so much to do and i have to do . I 'm losting my memory and i can't even remember my friend phone# anymore and i call her alot and now i forgot it i hope she class because i have a mess load of homework .... From my teacher and i don't get all of it .... But i got to go i have to clean bye -Deanna

Today was the funnest day ...

Men today was funny will here it goes . Today in my four period class a girl confront my teacher about him favoring other students . And so she goes out of this little quest at first almost everyone were agree (all the other student that are servicing F) But then she confronts the highest rank .Joana this girl is one of the smartest kid in The Whole School , so when she said that she lost her case. So it was funny while it last . I felt bad for her because Mr.****** Did in embrass her in front of the whole class but it was her fault for starting it. Will i go to go bye -Deanna

today

will today was a boring today like always. I hope that on one of my days that i'm actually free i could do something fun and life time experince but like all ways .Nothing . I'm tried of not doing anything ...But hey life goes on . I was wonder what would happen if i would do anything i wanted to do . What would i do ?? That question comes to my mind . If i was going to die tomorrow what would i do . (I could anything). But i wonder.. Would i skydive or go and tell everyone that i'm sorry for the things i very done .... Will i got to go and do Homework So bye

"A novel worth..."

Today I was ask to think about the books I've had read. And as I was thinking about this I was think about my life and school to. My teacher gave me a quote by Susan Sontag. And it say"A novel worth reading is an education of the heart enlarges your sense of human possibility,of what human nature is , of what happens in the world. It's a creator of inwardness"---Susan Sontag.And I though about it all day . And I was wondering if education is the heart,then why are people so empty would say education is the key to imaging life and made up worlds of are own . My teacher was telling us to think about what was the deeper meaning . And I though about it the deeper mean to this quote is to think about what your reading and not only that what makes you move. For some people it's reading for other it's god . But we all do something that makes the heart ,dreams and the nature of how people act. And all this women is ask is what makes you move . If it's read or god or life it's self.

But I wasn't ask this question I was asked to use this quote with the books I've read . And one of the books I've read that I will use for this is "Eveline" that is written by James Joyce in" Dubliner".And the reason why I picked this story is because it's about a girl that want to leave. Which is the heart ;the reason why she want to leave is because she want to run always with her boyfriend. Her want to is the nature of humans. The possibility is that she might be happy with her boyfriend that's she's going to get married to. The inwardness is when she realizes that she couldn't leave her family and friendships that was the whole story .She wanted to something without really thinking about it when the time came she realize that she couldn't leave her family she really thought about what she was going and knew that it was a wrong choice. She would be giving her life to this guy and in the end she wouldn't be happy because she would miss her family and that she would be miss to.

What I learn from this quote is that their always a reason why we do things and that many authors use that type of style to . But most importantly I learn that I should think about why are things happening and what can I do to stop it . Or how can I help with that if I think that what need to be done . Like what the character from "Eveline " did she though about it before it was to late . She though about it before she got married and run always with her boyfriend.

An other story is "A little cloud" the heart is that he wants to running always from his family and work and write poems. The human possibility are very slim for this do . The nature is that's what he really wants to do because that's what he loves to do. And the inwardness is the friend who was a poet. Their are many heart,dreams and nature of people . The author capture the character wants and put them in wordier in a story for all of us to read.

School

We finally when back to school and let me tell you in was hard adjusting back into school hours and teachers. I mean i was so happy when we got break but i sis want to go back to school the only reason why i go is to go see my friends. But hey we all go for different reason . I got alot of homework from my teachers and i think i'm going to do bad this year i'm not getting good grades but thats life . And i know i have to write 250 words but i'm tried and i want to sleep but i got more homework and lanary and i have to go get it so bye

Happy New years....

It's 2005 .Wow does time pat us by it was just August not to long a ago when i just turn 14 and now nexts years is here. I hope your guys NewYears was good , mine was until some one had to bring up the past it always happen to some one and i guess it was my turn. So my NewYears was normal at least it was better than x-mas.I don't like the fact that i have to go back to school that pasrt of this New Year sucks school is boring . All you do is work the only thing i like is lunch.But i guess school is here to better myself right . And if i don't go then i will be nothing with no eudcation so i guess school isn't that bad. Will i got to go bye -S.A deanna